Lets say it like it is.. it is depression and everyone of us has suffered from it. You may have felt it when you lost someone you loved, or a heartbreak, may be it is setting higher expectations and performing low, may be it is due to chemical-locha, or may be it is just the weather. But why is it still considered a stigma, I ask myself. How often do you get asked the question, ‘Why are you depressed? you have it all!’ and my mind thinks, ‘May be I do, May be I don’t.’
While my friend, Ruchika (who is a nutritionist and counselor) and I were chatting a while back about depression and how women suffer from it quiet a bit, especially stay-at-home-Moms, we realized that they are scared to ask for help and they struggle quietly every single day. It got me writing about depression today because I suffer from it off and on. I am not a stay-at-home-anything. I am out every day, I workout every day, I am blessed with my friends and family who are there with me everyday, I have my own law firm and I am practically occupied every single minute of every single day. Yet, I get depressed. I may wake up at odd hours at night, thinking and over-thinking about, yeah you guessed it right – LIFE, WORK, WEIGHT, MONEY, SUCCESS, FAMILY (not necessarily in that order)
The struggle is real as they say. And it is real for anyone of us who is trying to make a mark in this world. I established my own law-firm last year with the help of my siblings. Happy to report that we are in a growth trajectory but the struggle is real. I face burnout very often and there are more moments of questioning myself than there are moments of clarity. As women entrepreneurs, we have our fears laid out neatly on a platter. What if I fail? What if it doesn’t go as planned? Should I take this risk right now or wait for a little while? This is new to me, where do I find a mentor? Questions, questions and more of them.
I have lived by the adage, No matter how you feel, get up dress up and show up, and so I do. Every single day, be it Court, the gym or my office. I am running from one place to another just to be present. It is robotic at times and the moment I realize that I have a human-side, I feel the burnout. Sometimes, we are beating ourselves for not living upto the mark. Last week I was at a social event and I sat in a corner not wanting to interact with people at all. This is completely unlike me. People who know me, know that I cant stop talking and making new friends. Surprised as I was with this sudden change in my character, I kept thinking about why I am avoiding small talk with people. I was the master of small talk and now I hate it. I am thinking maybe it is maturity or maybe I just need to get out of the city for sometime, rejuvenate and be back.
The thing with being too out there is that there are energy suckers. People and things that suck your energy. You feel that disassociating would be best but you realize at what cost? May be we need to keep our energy overflowing to have the energy suckers not drain us out of it. At the end of the day, it is all about energy. We draw people and their energy. You will always remember how someone made you feel. Good, bad, ugly – it always stays with you. Sometimes it is the constant criticism; sometimes it is how people motivate you to be your better self. All of that changes your energy and brings about the shift that no amount of constant self-motivation will.
It all boils down to people – human beings – our family and friends, the coterie that we keep. They say you are sum total of 5 people who form your circle. This circle enunciates that we reciprocally form part of someone else’s circle. This determines how we are able to support others to be a better version of themselves. This requires us to be honest with ourselves and see ourselves as we are, not an ounce of sugar-coating. Or better still, as they say in the safety instructions when the plane is about to take off, put on your oxygen mask first before you help others. Lets put our oxygen mask first before we put it on for other! Lets help ourselves first. Lets say NO to things we don’t want in our life and say YES to things and people who make us rise.
Until next time.
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